The view of comfort, security, and a house from the mountain top was perfect while it lasted. The fall off the mountain top was emotional, draining, and just plain not fair. Now we are in the valley of being stuck where we are, again. The kids don't know.
I know that we are in the Lord's care whether we are on the moutain, in the valley, or somewhere in between. However, I find myself asking "where are you Lord?" and "why". It seems like just when it starts looking up...wham bam back down we go. I realize that this struggle is so minor compared to most peoples struggle. But it is our struggle nonetheless. Most importantly it effects my kids. I want my kids happy and comfortable. I want Sam to stop wanting to "doe Orgia". I want Maddie to stop having to ask for her bed and grass. I want to make a home here and feel at home. I am really trying to make a home here...make friends for the kids. But in order to feel at home, we need a home. A home without an elevator. A home where the walls don't "thump" the music next door. A home where people can't just come in and out of at a whim (to wash windows, change filters, etc).
What am I talking about you ask? Yesterday someone put on offer on the house we (I) fell in love with. We were also going to offer on in and hope it was higher until.....we found out that the "thing" that was going to allow us to buy a house wasn't actually as said (again). So, it is back to the drawing board. We have one last ditch "thing" trying to get worked out. If that fails, then there is nothing else...no other hope......we will be in the apartment until the house sells.
Speaking of my house. I was able to actually see photos from the stager. Barbara did a great job of literally walking me through the house on the phone. However, seeing pictures of what they did to my house really hit home. It broke my heart to see all my pictures down and the walls colorless (Barbara says they have some color but in the photos they really look white...I completely believe Barbara, but it is still hard to look at). It showed this weekend and the comments were things like the interior was "fair" and the decorations were "tired". Of course they look tired, all life and hope was taken out of it. Wade says it is just one person's opinion.....but it doesn't bode well since it is the first showing since the staging.
On a brighter note, the kids and I head to NC tomorrow. The Lord knew that I would seriously need a break from MN after all that happened yesterday. Sometimes nothing makes the world seem better than running home. Of course, I am running home with kids in tow. I do believe that makes it even better for the grandparents to receive you....if you have their grand kids with you. We really hate to leave Wade here (especially since I am really hating on MN right now...wouldn't wish this place on anyone). But, someone has to work :)
Please pray that the Lord work in the "thing" situation. Also pray for peace. Not feelin' the peace right now. Of course prayers for safe travel would be appreciated (might want to throw in prayers for the people on the planes with us as well...you know my munchkins!!!).
If I go MIA it is because of our trip. I don't know if I will be able to update from NC or not. I hope that I am so that I can post pictures of Wade to see. If I am not able to update, then I will see you again in two weeks.
Have a blessed week!!
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